Last week I spent in the Netherlands for a training I gave and the yearly Sandford Retreats Reunion, which we organize for our retreat guests. 

Whenever I travel back, it’s easy for me to fall into a packed schedule - filling my days with work, meetings and seeing family and friends. But I also know how much I value alone time, consciously slowing down and reflecting. So I make space for it. A full day of me-time, to reflect on how last year’s desires unfolded and on my highlights. Looking back at my most memorable moments from the past year often reveals patterns that guide my desires for the year ahead. 

This yearly reflection has become one of my cherished rituals, one I always do somewhere away from home. This year in the Netherlands by the fireplace, curled up on a fluffy couch.  Last year on one of my favourite Algarvian beaches.
 

My 2024 reflection

Looking back at last year's desires, I realized I achieved quite a few of them, or at least, partly. But some? Not at all. 

• I wanted to work from the beach at least twice a month. Did I? Yikes.. I did sometimes, but not nearly as often as I planned.
• I wanted to take at least four weekend trips with my family. We did two.
• I wanted to start taking dance classes again. I never even started.
• I wanted to launch my “Own Your Life” course, focused on overcoming people-pleasing. Did I? No. Immediately, I feel the urge to make an excuse to myself - “But I designed it. It will be launched in March…” But that’s not the answer to the question. 

So, why didn’t I?

It’s easy to come up with excuses.
Life took over. Moving abroad brought so much paperwork. Helping the kids with their homework in Portuguese. Learning the language myself. Keeping up with the parent whats-app groups. Working on the house and garden. There’s so much to do. I didn’t have time…

But the truth is - time is never the issue.
We all have the same 24 hours. It’s not about time.

It’s about lack of clarity and fear.
If you don’t have a clear overview, if you don’t prioritize what truly matters, time will slip through your fingers. But even if you do have the clarity, there’s often something deeper at play.

Somewhere, unconsciously, you're holding yourself back. Even though these desires are yours too. Strange, isn’t it?

I once read a quote that stuck with me:

"If you have desires that you haven’t yet fulfilled, there is a bigger part of you that doesn’t want them."

It hit me hard - because it’s true.

Yes, you say you want it. But if you truly wanted it - without resistance, without fear - you would have already made it happen.

What's holding us back? 

1. Lack of clarity. You think you don’t have time, but really, you just don’t have a clear plan. Without clarity, it’s easy to get lost in daily routines and distractions.
2. Fear. Your deeper, unconscious resistance. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of stepping outside your comfort zone.

What's the way out? 

To break free there are two important things to do: 

1. Organize clarity, by making a clear plan and system that works for you (I’ll elaborate on that in another post). 
2. Let go of what’s subconsciously holding you back. I find that releasing what no longer serves you is one of the most powerful things you can do to start living the life you truly desire. 

There are many ways to let go. This Thursday, February 6th 2025 at 20:00 CET, Lesley Sandford and I are hosting a live webinar to guide you through it: 

• We’ll help you uncover what’s unconsciously holding you back.
• We’ll help you release that blockage - once and for all.

This will be an interactive session where we actually do the work. There will be no replay - just real presence, real transformation.

If this resonates with you, you’re very welcome to join. Sign up here.

Because you don’t have to wait. You can start following your desires today.

Love,

Tamar